Marketer or Marketeer

I’m personally not comfortable with the word ‘marketeer’, I cringe whenever I hear it.
I’m much prefer marketer, I do marketing, I market therefore I’m a marketer.
Marketeer feels a little pretentious?
It all sounds a bit too swash buckling to me:

marketersOrMarketeers

 

But then of course I shouldn’t talk, I do have a rather swash buckling not-so-secret identity:

4pMarkerteers

 

 

Image credits

Top Images features:
Marketers:
Top left:  Ash, Rog , Mark, Darren: The founders of Pure360 in 1999.
Top Right: Jordie, Andy, Andrew: at an email meetup
Bottom Left: Armani, Craig, Ross: representing Pure360 at a trade show
Bottom Right: Adam, Lucy, Simon: representing Pure360 in a pub a few years ago.

Musketeers:
Top left clockwise: BBC’s The Musketeers 2014, The Three Musketeers movie from 1993, the Three Musketeers movie from 1973, Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds which hit the UK in 1985.

Bottom image features: Me – Andy Thorpe / Me – Captaininbox

Image

Inbox Triage

Before I get into the real content of this post I thought I’d briefly address any pedants out there who are not happy by my use of the word “triage”. Apparently some people are awfully inconvenienced when it is used for any purpose other than a hospital’s ER; To those people – “Sorry, it is the right word, I can’t be bothered with the phrase ‘prioritise and allocate the correct resources accordingly’, please get over it, life’s too short”. Alternatively it could have only been the one person who I used to work with who’d really bang on about it 🙂

Inbox Triage

 

After reading Remy’s post “Yesterbox” on Emailblog.eu I remembered about a little chart I made ages ago to demonstrate how I’d triaged my inbox as a low level task manager.

Basically at the time I had a fairly complex work flow and almost all of it was confined to me; almost all of it was over email so my task management had to done in the inbox because it was too time consuming to move these tasks into any other task management solution. I’d tried a load of browser plugins, Thunderbird extensions and other software, none of them made it easier or quicker it was all just moving info about for the sake of it, so I stuck with my inbox and the age old: important/urgent rules:

EmailTriage

In order to help add context to the emails I use the Thunderbird extension: Message Notes Plus. It’s a simply little thing that lets you add notes to an email.
Early on it allowed you to store the text file where the notes are stored and referred to in a network folder so more than one person could use the same notes, this really helped in the early days when we had a team of people all using the customer services inbox, we moved to Zendesk long ago now and the extension wants money for the networkable version now too.

To an extent I still use it today but for far less important tasks, much of my work flow relies on multiple people etc. so it gets a bit ganty.

At the time it was quite popular with other people with the same workflow, most people tend to have the important/urgent thought process but just don’t realise it.

The only browser plugin that’s ever got close to being useful was ActiveInbox which is a chrome plugin for Gmail, unfortunately it was so unreliable I had to knock it on the head.

Maybe once Google gets around to the promised improvements to Google Tasks something might be useful for me?

Funny Call Centre Conversations

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My mum emailed this to me – some are old classics.. for your reading pleasure…

THE BEST IS THE LAST ONE.

Call center conversations!

Customer:     “I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through; can you help?”
Operator:     “Where did you get that number, sir?”
Customer:     “It’s on the door of your business.”
Operator:     “Sir, those are the hours that we are open.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
Caller:          “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator:     “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.”
Caller:          “On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?”
Operator:      “I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.”
———————————————————————-
RAC Motoring Services
Caller:          “Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?”
Operator:     “Does the product name give you a clue?”
———————————————————————-
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
“If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?”
———————————————————————-
Directory Enquiries
Caller:  “I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please”
Operator: “I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?”
Caller: “Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.”
———————————————————————-
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:        “Woven? Are you sure?”
Caller:             “Yes. That’s what it says on the label — Woven in Scotland .”
———————————————————————-
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phonebox told a worried operator:
“I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on.”
———————————————————————-
Tech Support:      “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer:             “OK.”
Tech Support:      “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer:             “No.”
Tech Support:      “OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer:             “No.”
Tech Support:      “OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer:            “Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
———————————————————————-
Tech Support:          “OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer:                 “Wow! How can you see my screen from there?”
———————————————————————-
Caller:  “I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?”
———————————————————————-
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is  a true story from theWordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for “Termination without Cause.”

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I  know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:         “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller:              “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
Operator:         “What sort of trouble??”
Caller:              “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Operator:         “Went away?”
Caller:              “They disappeared.”
Operator:         “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller:              “Nothing.”
Operator:         “Nothing??”
Caller:              “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
Operator:         “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??”
Caller:              “How do I tell?”
Operator:         “Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen??”
Caller:              “What’s a sea-prompt?”
Operator:         “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”
Caller:              “There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
Operator:         “Does your monitor have a power indicator??”
Caller:              “What’s a monitor?”
Operator:         “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??”
Caller:               “I don’t know.”
Operator:          “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??”
Caller:              “Yes, I think so.”
Operator:         “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller:              “Yes, it is.”
Operator:         “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??”
Caller:               “No.”
Operator:          “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller:               “Okay, here it is.”
Operator:          “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller:               “I can’t reach.”
Operator:          “OK. Well, can you see if it is??”
Caller:               “No.”
Operator:          “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??”
Caller:               “Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.”
Operator:          “Dark??”
Caller:               “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator:           “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller:               “I can’t.”
Operator:          “No? Why not??”
Caller:               “Because there’s a power failure.”
Operator:           “A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??”
Caller:               “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Operator:           “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller:                “Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator:           “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Caller:                “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??”
Operator:           “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!!!”

Hello WordPress

Right, here we are on WordPress. To be honest I’ve had this site for a while just in case but blogspot’s Google analytics integration and more flexible widgets including JavaScript made it better for content. Now smart phones are popular, I have one and I need more mobile capabilities. WordPress beats the crap out of Blogspot with it’s mobile templates and iPhone app. In fact I’m writing this on my iPhone. It’s just a pitty that WordPress doesn’t let you add JavaScript in the widgets, I can plug google analytics into it. I’d really like a tweet bit on the posts too.

While I like this theme for the web and the mobile friendly interface, I am disappointed by the lack of flexibility in the hosted WordPress but it’s still more suitable for my current style at the moment.

I should beagle to get more content up anyway 🙂

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